I've been sitting on this blog for a while. I wanted to post it at the same time as another blog *cough* Jarrod *cough* but I dunno what ever happened to that.
Anyway, from Michelle Tulley, mistress of the blogs:
Here are some interesting things I've heard guys say over the year and a half I have been with Wal-Mart. Here's a hint. If you are 40 or over you probably should be saying these things to girls if they are 20 and under:-)
1. You smell real nice.
This is of couse said with a hickish Kentucky accent by a grubby 40 something that is covered head to toe in black dirt. This creeps girls out. Its sometimes a little creepy from guys your own age.
2. Your hair is really pretty.
Again this comment comes from a backwoods idiot. The guy that said this to me was about 70 or so and had been staring at me for the last 10 minutes. All I can say is ewwwww. I put my hair up in a bun after that comment. This is not nearly as scary from a 20 something.
3. Hey, (insert girl's name here).
This is said as the drunken smelly man leers at your namebadge, which is conviently located on your left boob. Yuck! Using someone's name who you don't know is just odd and puts the girl on the defensive. You could be a homocidal stalker for all she knows.
4. You must have kids.
Very bad idea. Never assume a girl is also a mother. Just because she gives your kid his candy back as he screeches for it, does not make anyone a parent.
5. Tell the girl your life story.
Most girls really don't care, especially if you are at least 20 years older than her. This is also slightly on the creepy side. Bragging about your car, money, house, etc. doesn't help your case with most girls either.
This is my version of the countdown of what not to say to a girl who works at Wal-Mart or anywhere for that matter.
First from Caleb
This didn't happen to me, but I heard it from the cashier it happened to. This comes from the daily life at Lowe's.
So this female customer asks a cashier to help her with batteries, when they are unable to locate the correct one, the customer asks if we have more batteries somewhere else. Unsure of what the customer needed the batteries for, she asked. The customer then replied, "They're for a vibrator." Ha Ha. It's a good thing it wasn't me she asked, or I would have died laughing. Just thought you might like.
And from Jarrod, the Blog Masta. These are quite a read, I might start doing some formatting on the blogs.
1.) Jason and I are standing at the counter labeling when a lady walks up to the counter the same time as Nathan. Nathan says he needs to talk to me and he'll tell Jason as soon as he gets done helping the customer at the counter. So Nathan tells me something semi-important and he goes back to toys to help out in that deptarment. The lady is really ticked that her film still hasn't came in( it's been about 2 weeks i'd say.) She wanted us to fill out a tracer form, and started complaining how nobody else any other day would do it. She said that all they did was stand at the counter like we were when she first walked up. She started cursing at me and Jason, and Jason was trying to fill the tracer form for her like she requested. Jason started to get very red and angry, I could really tell he was minutes from going off. I soon jumped in and told her that the foul language was very unnessesary. I told her that little kids are in the store, she turns around and starts bitching because there are no kids around. I just stopped arguing with her and called for a manager. Jason tried asking for her phone number to put on the tracer form, she replies with 491- and Jason asks is that her area code, and she flips out. She starts yelling u know that's not my area code, what kind of area code around here starts with that. Jadon came and talked to the lady and calmed her down. When she left Jadon started talking to Jason about the whole incident. And Jadon then tells Jason that he isn't paid enough to handle situations like this and to call him next time right away. Jason started talking about the lady a little after that, and the new blonde hair dark complected girl in Jewlery came over and said that she was complaining to her about the way we treated her. She also said the whole time Jason was talking smack about her she was right on the other side of the wall. He was saying he was getting ready to punch her if i didn't step in and help out.
2.) I was at the service desk filling out the stolen stuff in the stolen log, and i hear something over the Paging system "Customer Assistance to electronics. Pronto, yes Pronto." I go back to electronics and find some customer standing by the phone. It was obviously a college kid. I ask what he needs and he says i need a game out Pronto. hahahaha. I didn't see the humor in this. The kid smelled of alcohol very badly and he even had a cup in his hand drinking it. The kid was drunk and as soon as I finished helping him and his friend who seemed fine. I went to a CSM and told them what happened and Dustin knew that it was a customer over it. I told him that he was totally drunk and he had a cup and it might be alcohol and he says, yes, yes he does and calls for a code 100. I then noticed red drops of something on the counter right next to the phone. I take a few sniffs at it, and smells like kool-aid. I'm not sure really if there was any alcohol in it so i called dustin and told him that it might have just been kool-aid. He tells me that the kids are leaving anyway.
The first one is from Sally
Hey stranger, it's me Sally, Nathan's woman remember? j\k
Anywho, I have a story for your website.
Okay, I was working in my usual hell hole, though not the worst hell hole department to be assigned to, housewares and I was pulling down vaccum cleaners and steam vacs and trying to lay them all down flat on the riser. (That's something we have to do now for the safety team.) All vacuums and tall stuff either needs to be stored in the back or laying flat on the riser.
Anyways, I was attempting to pull this heavy steam clearner off the riser and lay it flat. I could have just said F*#@! it and push it and let it fall to it's side, but I didn't want a riser shelf to break, so i was doing it slowly and carefully so that I wouldn't fall off the damn ladder. There were vaccuums all over the floor below me.
Okay, while I'm doing all of this, a customer comes up to me and asks if I can help her. First of all, I hate it when they ask that because I just want to answer, "No you piece of crap, I'm here just to walk around and wear this blue vest that says, How May I help you!" But it made it twice as bad because she expected me to stop, drop what I was doing and help her right that second. I was nice about it and said, One moment. I was trying to put the heavy steam vac back on the riser. She grabs my ladder, I'm already afraid of heights as it is, and asks if I need any help. I tell her politely that i don't. She pretends to steady the ladder for me in the process shaking it. I finally get the freaking steam vac on the riser and I step down to put up the ladder.I can't just leave all the vaccums in the middle of the isle so I try to quickly shove them all to the side out of the way. She sighs and starts walking away!! I start to follow her and ask her what it was that she wanted and she asks where the vaccum bags are!!! She was in that isle the whole damn time w\ me and she didn't even look around once. All she had to do was turn her head away and see the freaking vaccumm bags right next to the vaccums!
well, that's my story. It's similar to the batteries comic so you probably won't want to post it, but you said you only had stories from Jared and Michelle and I was bored so i decided to share this w\ you.
well, see you later
Sally
The next one is from Jarrod, the undisputed king of bloggers. Keep 'em coming dude.
Hey,
Finger came to electronics to find Stoney to go to lunch. And finger says, "dude do u know what's on your t.v." You know the big one with the foreign channels. I said no. I go and look and it's an audience just like at a stand up comedy show. The camera then turns and cum to find out that the audience is watching a porno. It was showing some guy getting a girl doggy style. It was so funny seeing something like this on a t.v. at wal-mart.
I thought this would make a good blog. We also put a block on the t.v. The password is 1431. to unlock the PG rating, giving you access to all other ratings
Thanks,
Jarrod
Below is a CSD (Code Structure Diagram?) that my editor/debugger/compiler jGrasp generates for my convenience. If I send you to this page to look for something related to programming, this is probably it. It's also the solution to assignment 1.
Posting from USI. I finished the comic. I tweaked the site. I edited the comic some more. I still have a full hour before my class starts. It's raining outside and I'm packing around an expensive computer. I want a snack but I lost my wallet a few days ago, and I have a small amount of cash that has to last me until my credit card arrives in the mail.
So I can't really do anthing besides sit here. And this place is crowded, and I'm not used to being around this many people yet. Especially since there are very attractive women mixed in. That's always trouble. I bumped (not very gently) into someone, and when I turned around it was a super hot chick. And I had bumped my arm into her head or something. Oops.
-Isaac
So now, courtesy of the only person besides Jarrod to send in stories, is Michelle Tuley's "Terror of the Masticating Mouse."
Hey, so you want some interesting stories from the front, huh? I guess I could start out with a tame one. This actually just happened last weekend, so compared to other stories I have it's pretty recent.
I was just minding my business and being a good cashier by refilling the bags on my register. I pull out the group of bags on top and all these tiny white pieces of paper come flying out with it. At first I'm just a little aggravated that someone tore up a piece of paper and didn't hit the trash can. Then I pulled out the paper that hadn't been torn up yet and the edge seemed to have tiny tears in it. Instantly, I knew that a mouse had visited register 5 during the night. I called another more experienced (older) cashier to my register and she agreed that it was a mouse and others had been spotted through pets and other places in the store. I discovered that the mouse also liked the sacks. I threw away the ones that had been chewed through and the white paper, since the other cashier was not overly concerned with this occurrence. The point of this story for customer is that the belts are not the part of the store you should be worried about getting your merchandise dirty, its the sacks that everything is put into.
I find this interesting since some people refuse to put anything on the belt because "its dirty." That would be a horrible surprise to find in your bag when you get home, mouse turds!
Well, that is the one of the interesting stories I can think of right now. Don't know if anyone else finds it funny, but it was highly amusing to me. Probably not anything you can really do with that but here it is anyway.
So JB and I are sitting at a table at Barnes and Noble working on the comic. I love having a laptop. He's looking through a "How to draw anime characters" book, researching for a particularly tough upcoming comic.
I'm typing this and making fun of him. Supposedly we need to put more blogs on the site or something, I dunno. All that means to me is that more people need to be sending me crap to post on here.
So, as usual, send pretty much anything to isaachawley@mac.com and I'll slap it up here.
J-Rod, one of my compatriots in electronics, emailed me telling me to post some Blogs. He said he didn't like all the empty pages on the site where you link to them and they just say, "Nothing here yet."
He also asked if he could do anything to help.
Yes, Jarrod, you can. You can let me tell your story.
So a customer comes up to Jarrod and says he needs some batteries. Jarrod says, "Sure, OK, what kind do you need?"
To which the customer responds, "Anything lithium."
And now, so you will understand this whole thing:
The meth shopping list: (condensed to things that sell at Wal-Mart and are easily identifiable)
I'm not really sure what to do when I see people buying these. If I call security on the junkie he might shoot me in the face or hurt my feelings or something. I think we should just let them have their drugs. Good riddance.
Jarrod didn't let the guy buy the lithium. I think he actually said, "I can't sell you that, sorry." And then he called security, I guess. I would have sold him a metric ton of those tiny little lithium watch batteries. Those aren't in the case, if he really wants mass quantities of lithium he has to buy an unregulated item.